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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224423">Stasia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardblogger/pseuds/awkwardblogger'>awkwardblogger</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/camnoelgallavich/pseuds/camnoelgallavich'>camnoelgallavich</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Sunflower Verse [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shameless (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Domestic Fluff, Fatherhood, Getting to Know Each Other, Good Sibling Mandy Milkovich, Internalized Homophobia, Kid Fic, M/M, Past Sexual Assault, Past Violence, Personal Growth, Slurs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:14:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,522</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224423</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardblogger/pseuds/awkwardblogger, https://archiveofourown.org/users/camnoelgallavich/pseuds/camnoelgallavich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hi, I’m Ian.” Ian meets Mickey’s eyes and gives him a kind smile. “I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself yet, been busy with work and getting the place set up…” He trails off as he looks down at the little girl staring at him with only one eye open like he is a monster. “Hi, there. What’s your name?” He speaks in a gentle voice that he reserves for babies in his family.<br/>“Stasia.” She whispers, just barely loud enough to be heard. She peers at him cautiously, intrigued by the stranger, but also scared of him. He’s tall, like her Daddy, but even taller.<br/>“Stasia? That’s a beautiful name.”</p><p>The neighbors, single dad meet-cute you didn't know you wanted</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Sunflower Verse [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069316</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>153</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stasia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A big thank you to jinlin5 for beta-ing this for us! This series is our baby and we're so excited to share it with you starting here!<br/>Feel free to send us comments and reactions on twitter and insta!<br/>camnoelgallavich- insta: @cam.monagahfan; twitter: @cam_monaghanfan<br/>awkwardblogger- twitter: @punkgremlin</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Mornings are always the hardest for Mickey Milkovich. He’s been out from under his father’s tyrannical thumb for two years now, but most mornings he forgets where he is and thinks he’s back in the Milkovich house of horrors. This morning is no different, he shoots upright in bed, chest heaving and heart pounding, sweat dripping from his hair and his wife beater sticking to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, you’re up!” The squeaky voice of his wake up call yells in his ear. Mickey looks at his daughter, who is shining a gapped tooth smile at him so innocently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anastasia is sitting on his pillow, her long dark brown hair looking like a frizzy mane from tossing and turning in her sleep. There’s no denying she’s Mickey’s daughter, one look at her is all it takes. They’ve got the same big blue eyes and long lashes, even her lips are plump just like his. And Mandy, Mickey’s sister, swears up and down their eyes crinkle the same way when they smile. Mickey’s never been one for kids, but his four year old is easily the cutest he’s ever met. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He takes a look at his actual alarm clock and groans internally as he drops his head back and rubs a hand over his face. He still had another whole hour before it was supposed to go off. “What’s up, Stasia? Why are you up so early?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stasia shrugs. “I woked up, Daddy. Wanna play!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey smiles but also resists the urge to groan. “Alright, you little booger. You can play, but you gotta have clean teeth first.” He gets up off the bed and scoops her up with a practiced ease. She rests her head on his chest as he carries her to the bathroom and gets her ready. He helps her brush her teeth and goes through the painstakingly long task of brushing her hair and untangling the knots. Finally, he brushes his own teeth and hair as Stasia watches. He’s been a dad long enough to not be bothered by her eyes constantly on him, watching everything he does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, show’s over. Let’s get you fed.” Mickey says, taking her little hand and leading her to the kitchen. He walks slowly but she still has to jog to keep up with his longer legs. He’d deny it to anyone who pointed it out, but he can’t help the small smile knowing she’s trying her hardest to stay by his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s moments like this that make it shocking to know Mickey hadn’t wanted Anastasia. Hell, Mickey hadn’t wanted to have the sex that conceived her, but the gun to the back of his head left no room to argue. Against his will, he endured the assault to “cure” him of his gayness under his father’s watchful eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who had known that Terry Milkovich finding his son’s stash of gay porn would lead to the little girl at Mickey’s side? Certainly not Mickey. When Svetlana came to the house to tell him she was pregnant, he had told her to go bug the dude who actually knocked her up and fuck off. Svetlana worked as a prostitute, but she had been no more a willing participant in their daughter’s conception than him that day. Terry made sure she didn’t have a choice, waving his gun at the both of them. But, Svetlana had insisted Mickey was the father and it was only by the skin of his teeth that Mickey narrowly avoided being forced to marry her. Instead, Terry moved Svetlana into the already overcrowded home and kept a close eye on Mickey to make sure he was “fixed”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire nine months leading up to Anastasia being born, Mickey was sure the baby would come out looking nothing like him and he’d be free. He nearly cried when he took one look at the squishy looking alien they called a newborn baby and saw his features reflected in her face. Fresh out of the oven and she had his mouth, chin and bone structure. As she grew, her big eyes turned more and more his shade of blue everyday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to avoid being a father, tried to avoid even looking at her at first, but Svetlana swiftly ended that by threatening him with a baseball bat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will help with baby or I will break kneecaps.” She had promised. He’d foolishly told her to fuck off, but the moment she reared the bat back he surrendered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, Mickey learned to change diapers and burp his daughter, but he refused to let himself get attached to her. He always passed Anastasia back to Svetlana or Mandy or put her back in her crib as soon as her needs were taken care of, always running away when she just wanted to be held. Or at least he did until Svetlana bailed when Anastasia was six months old, leaving Mickey with a baby he never asked for, in a household where he constantly had to watch his back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Years later, Mickey saw Svetlana in a restaurant, where she’d been getting brunch with a bunch of yuppie North Side moms while Mickey had been dropping off Mandy’s wallet to her at work. Their eyes had met for a brief second but she looked away quickly and Mickey left without a word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He struggled with Anastasia a lot after Svetlana left. For the first month, the only thing that kept him from signing away his rights and handing her over to the nearest smiling couple was Terry’s looming presence. He knew if he’d tried to get rid of her Terry would beat the shit out of him and drop the screaming baby into his bloody arms to take care of. So when Terry was arrested for stealing from the Kash and Grab a month after Svetlana hightailed it outta there, Mickey had been ready to wash his hands of his daughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you seriously going to just abandon her?” Was Mandy’s venomous accusation, on the morning he’d started to gather all of Anastasia’s shit to take her down to a church on the good side of town and leave her there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be so fuckin’ dramatic, Mandy. She needs a real family.” Mickey had scoffed, waving his tattooed hands at his sister dramatically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We </span>
  <b>are</b>
  <span> her real family!” Mandy snapped, taking the baby from her crib and cradling Stasia to her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I meant and you fucking know it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh cut the bullshit! You just want to get rid of her because you don’t want to be a dad. Well tough shit, dickhead! She’s your kid and she fucking needs you! You didn’t want her? Boo hoo, she’s here now and she’s already been abandoned by a shitty parent. For fuck’s sake Mickey, don’t be worse than fucking Terry! I thought you were better than that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her low blow turned the argument into a screaming match that set the baby off, but it had been the push he needed. The argument ended with Mandy shoving Anastasia into his arms and storming out of the house, leaving the father and daughter alone together. There had been no one to take her, no one else to calm her down, so he had to do it himself. Anastasia’s screams turned to sobs and by the time she had quieted to hiccups, Mickey was exhausted, too tired to give in t0 his urge to flee as she curled into him. He found himself noticing that she was actually pretty cute for a little gremlin and by the time Mandy had returned, Anastasia’s stuff had been put back and the baby was still there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The shift from reluctant fatherhood to actually starting to care for his daughter had happened so fast Mickey didn’t even know where one stopped and the other started but in the two months that followed, he stopped pawning her off to the first available pair of hands and quit bitching about having a kid. He found himself smiling at her a lot, talking to her and giving her a nickname by shortening her name to “Stasia”. He changed more diapers than he’d ever wanted to and dried more tears than he ever imagined. Time flew by and by the time Mickey had realized he loves his daughter, she’d been just shy of a year old and said “Dada” for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her first birthday marked another change in Mickey. Up until that time every cent he’d made had come from crime, but when he struggled to afford cupcakes and clothes for his daughter, Mickey thought about money. He’d been caught stealing and selling drugs a couple times as a teenager, if that happened again Stasia would be passed off to one of his siblings, whichever brother was out at the time or Mandy if she stayed in Chicago. Would Stasia be scared? Would she miss him? Could he even make enough money while staying under the radar for it to be worth it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To say Mickey immediately went straight would be pushing it, but he got a job as a mechanic at a garage and cut down on helping his brothers with drug deals and robberies. It wasn’t until a year later when Mickey came home from a shift at the garage that he knew more had to change. As he approached the house he could hear Stasia crying and Mandy trying to comfort her. He’d run in, ready for a fight, but saw no one but the two girls. The place looked like a bomb went off, the front door had been kicked down, furniture was turned over, the tv was broken, making the house look even more dilapidated than it already was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The fuck happened here, Mandy?!” Mickey had demanded in a panic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy was on the floor, her arms wrapped around the crying two year old. Broken glass was on the floor and the eeriness of the scene made the house feel colder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuckin’ cops. Iggy and Colin robbed a fucking bank! A whole squad of cops busted down the door and-” Mandy waved her arms around her, leaving her sentence at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey felt a lump in his throat. “And Stasia?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They scared her, but no one touched us.” Mandy said firmly, gesturing for him to take his daughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey scooped her up and Stasia pushed her sticky, snot covered face into the crook of  his neck. The two adults said nothing for the next few minutes that drudged by like they’d never end; only the baby’s sniffles, sobs and hiccups filled the air. Mickey rocked Stasia in his arms, not even realizing what he was doing at first. Her hot tears made his skin even stickier, but he didn’t complain. He kissed her sweaty hair and rubbed her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mick, you can’t- you can’t stay here.” Mandy broke the tense silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y0u can’t stay. You can’t let her grow up here, like we did. We can’t let this place fuck her up.” Mandy felt like she had the responsibility to give him the boot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where else am I supposed to go?” He had blurted out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Figure it out! Stop being a pussy, get your shit together and get the fuck outta this shithole, Mick. You’re not hopeless like Colin, so don’t act like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started working full time at the garage after that and his boss fortunately took Mickey under his wing, helping him become a better mechanic. The guy apparently had a soft spot for redemption stories and caught Mickey in the middle of his. It was hard work and long hours, but it kept him away from crime. It didn’t hurt that it paid better than he thought he’d ever be making. Three months after his brother’s arrests, Mickey had saved up enough for the down payment of a ratty little apartment in one of the better neighborhoods on the Southside. Now, two  years later, he was still on the straight and narrow, raising his little girl away from the terrifying place he’d called home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Due to their early start this morning, Mickey decides he should take Stasia to the park before daycare, but of course that was easier said than done. Mickey would spit in the face of any jackass that told him getting a toddler fed and dressed was easy. Stasia always gets distracted while eating and he has to bug her repeatedly to finish her freakin’ cereal. Once she finally finishes her cereal, he wrangles them both into fresh clothes and lets her grab a stuffed animal to take with her for the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let’s go.” He says, taking her little hand as she thrusts it out to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We go to park?” Stasia asks for the third time since he told her they’d go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, bud. We’re goin’ to the park.” He says,  leading her out their apartment door and turning back to lock it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eep!” Stasia squeaks and suddenly Mickey felt her yank back her hand and wrap both of her chubby little arms around his leg.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye! What’s goin’ on?” Mickey demands, his eyes dropping down to Stasia. Her face is pressed against his jeans and she’s hugging his leg hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stasia’s always been a little ball of never ending energy with personality to spare; but she gets real shy and quiet sometimes, especially around new people. Mickey looks around for the source of her uncommon behavior and finds it. It’s the new neighbor walking down the hallway towards them, looking like he’s coming home from working a night shift. If Mickey wasn’t so focused on his daughter he would have noticed just how much the new neighbor appeared to be his type: a tall and built redhead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ian slings his bag higher up on his shoulder before he starts flicking through the keychain in his hand. He’s tired after his long shift and is lost in thought about the fact that he needs to get his EMT uniform laundered ASAP. He’s almost to his apartment door when he overhears a man speaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s ok, Stasia. He’s our neighbor, he ain’t gonna hurt you. You don’t gotta hide.” Mickey tells her, eyes back on his daughter now - trying to convince her to let go of his leg so he can walk like a normal person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ian slows down his pace and looks over at the man who is trying to pry a little girl off of his leg. He’s within 3 feet of them and he could easily continue past to his door, but he doesn’t want to ignore them when the kid is obviously scared of him, so he stops in his tracks and tilts his head to the side, trying to meet Mickey’s eyes. “Uh, hi?” He assumes now is a good-a-time as any to meet his neighbors. He’d recently saved up enough money to move out of the Gallagher house and he’d moved into the apartment two weeks ago, but he hasn’t met anyone on his floor yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey hears his voice and looks up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh wow</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Mickey thinks, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s pretty</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Whatever social skills he normally possesses are thrown out the window by the realization that he’s stuck between the need to take care of his daughter and the urge to check out his new neighbor. Obviously, Stasia won out. “Uh, hey.” Mickey puts a hand on Stasia’s head, gently and silently reassuring her that everything is okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m Ian.” Ian meets Mickey’s eyes and gives him a kind smile. “I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself yet, been busy with work and getting the place set up…” He trails off as he looks down at the little girl staring at him with only one eye open like he is a monster. “Hi, there. What’s your name?” He speaks in a gentle voice that he reserves for babies in his family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stasia.” She whispers, just barely loud enough to be heard. She peers at him cautiously, intrigued by the stranger, but also scared of him. He’s tall, like her Daddy, but even taller.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stasia? That’s a beautiful name.” Ian keeps his tone soft and then looks up at Mickey. “Is that short for something?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Anastasia.” Mickey says, blinking in surprise when the stranger, Ian, directs his words at Mickey. Usually, when people start talking to his kid, they forget he exists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ian felt his heart clench when the man’s beautiful blue eyes met his own. He works hard to keep his composure enough to respond and not look like an idiot. “Oh… wow. That’s beautiful. I loved that movie growing up.” He comments offhandedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey’s brain freezes for a minute. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Movie? Oh fuck. There is a movie called Anastasia! </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’d totally forgotten all about that, but more importantly, Stasia was curious enough to pipe up. “Movie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stasia was looking at Ian, her brow furrowed, her eyebrows moving the same way Mickey’s does when he’s confused. Stasia’s never heard of the movie before and certainly never saw it. Her curiosity overtook her shyness as she met Ian’s gaze. Mickey hasn’t seen the movie himself - his house wasn’t big on Disney growing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah. There’s a movie called Anastasia, I’d forgotten about that.” Mickey admits with a sheepish smile. “I’ve never seen it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sure I have it somewhere in all my shit- I mean, stuff.” Ian winces and looks at Mickey apologetically for cursing, he still hadn’t broken that habit. He bends a little to look at Stasia and smiles again. “If I can find it, I’ll let you borrow it.” He speaks softly again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey smirks a little at Ian’s little wince, it wasn’t like he didn’t curse like a sailor in front of her all the time. He still finds it funny when Stasia copies him. He hears Stasia’s little gasp and turns his gaze to her again. Her eyes are wide and she starts tugging on his pants eagerly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, Daddy, I wanna see!” She exclaims.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, you don’t gotta tug, Stas.” He says, before looking at Ian again. “I think that answers your question.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stasia freezes at the reminder that Ian’s there and she blushes bright red. Her big blue eyes, a perfect copy of her father’s, darting over to Ian before squishing her face into her dad’s pants to shield her from his gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey sighs and shakes his head with a dry chuckle. “I’m Mickey, by the way. Aye, uh, thanks for being good with her, and offering to let us borrow your shit.” He says the second part quietly, nibbling on his lower lip. He’ll probably always have a hard time with being “soft” but it’s worth it for his daughter. “Stasia’s no good with strangers, some people are dicks about it. So, uh, yeah thanks. I promised her I’d take her to the park so, uh, see you ‘round.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey starts walking, having to limp slightly to take Stasia with him the first couple of steps before she lets go and takes his hand. The farther away they get from the apartment, the less Mickey thinks about his handsome new neighbor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spends about an hour playing with Stasia in the park before taking her to daycare. He leaves her with a forehead kiss, something he’d never be caught dead doing four years ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be good, squirt. I’ll see you at four.” He tells her, ruffling her hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stasia giggles and swats at his hand playfully. “Bye Daddy! Love you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey still isn’t used to saying it openly in public so he sticks to his routine and he taps his heart, a silent way of him telling Stasia he loves her. Her teacher leads Stasia away from the entrance and towards the classrooms, giving Mickey a wave. He leaves with a single wave back and heads to work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>During the day, the thought of the attractive redhead returned like it was haunting him. For just a second he’d remember how big the man’s hands looked, or how his eyes crinkled beautifully when talking to Stasia and then like a whisper in the night, it was gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frustration was brewing the more the handsome smile of the stranger danced around his mind. Mickey’s relationship with his sexuality wasn’t a pretty one. He grew up surrounded by homophobia, not just from his family but from the culture and society he lived in. Hearing the ‘f slur’ while walking down the street was such a common thing growing up that Mickey didn’t even realize it was taboo until he was talking to some Northside kid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey doesn’t remember when he found out what being gay was, but he’ll never forget witnessing his first fagbash. He’d been eight, his dad had come in from a night of drinking and woke Mickey and all of his brothers up, ordering them to get dressed and follow him outside. Terry had taken his sons down the block to where a group of men had been beating on a man that was lying on the ground. The Milkovich boys were ordered to join in on the beating, only offered “he’s a faggot! We have to teach him a lesson!” as an explanation for why the man was being attacked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only months later that Mickey realized wanting to hold hands with a boy at his school meant he was gay too, that he was just like the man his father had forced him to kick and spit at. For years, Mickey swallowed the poison fed to him. There was never a thought that they were wrong about him. If they said gays were disgusting, a disease on  humanity, then Mickey believed them. He’d been disgusted with himself, forced himself to look at girls and tried to make himself like them. He prayed if he stared at a woman’s tits long enough he’d be fixed. He watched straight porn but found himself looking at the guy too much. He also tried hooking up with Angie Zago when he was 15, but he couldn’t get it up. At that point, Angie became the most accepting person Mickey ever knew when she offered to pretend they’d fucked and invited him over once every few weeks to play video games and smoke a bowl, never bringing it up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d only just started to give into his sexual urges, buying gay porn for the first time only three weeks before Terry found it. It went downhill quickly and he found himself saddled with Svetlana and later Stasia under Terry’s watchful eye. He hadn’t dealt with his internalized homophobia at all when Mandy put the pieces together. Terry had only been locked up for two weeks at the time and she confronted Mickey in a mess of tears and desperate pleas for him to correct her. When he learned her tears were on his behalf - for his own hatred towards himself and for his rape - rather than because she was disgusted by her brother, his world shattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The siblings had stayed up into the early hours of the morning, sharing their darkest secrets and their deepest fears, revealing truths so ugly, they’d never seen the light of day. He was finally feeling light for the first time in his entire life when Mandy hit him with “there’s nothing wrong with you, Mick. I can’t believe you thought I could hate you for this. There’s nothing wrong with you being gay.” For the better part of three years she’s been trying to help him, and while Mickey no longer sees his sexuality as a disease and himself as disgusting for liking men, he still feels uneasy about his sexuality and in his darkest moments, the self hatred comes back like a tidal wave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels a level of disgust with himself for falling down this rabbit hole just from talking to an attractive neighbor that was kind to his daughter. It’s not like Mickey was gonna do anything, he found the guy gorgeous sure, but it’s nothing more than that. Maybe it was life cruelly reminding Mickey how fucked up he is, that he can’t even see a good looking guy without ending up here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey gives his head a violent shake with a huff, pulling himself from his thoughts and looking at the old Ford in front of him. This was more important, this is what matters. Doing a good job at work and taking care of his daughter is all that matters, not that shit, Mickey reminds himself. He sets to work fixing the transmission that’s seen better days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ian didn’t know why he was tearing his place apart looking for a princess movie. Wait, yes he did. It’s because of the gorgeous eyes on that man, Mickey, and his daughter’s fearful face. He’s always had a soft spot for kids and he wants to make the little girl smile. A smile from her dad wouldn’t hurt either. But, Ian just can’t find the movie. He decides to call Debbie, Franny’s really into Anastasia so maybe Debbie has their DVD.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” Debbie answers, picking up her phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, uh, sorry I know this is random and you’re probably busy but do you happen to have the Anastasia DVD at home?” Ian pants into the phone, out of breath from searching every nook and cranny of his entertainment center. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… Why?” Debbie asked with apprehension. It wasn’t like Ian to call like this, normally he’d text her about something as small as a movie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh I kinda need it, can I come pick it up?” Ian knew he sounded like an idiot as he finally sat down on his ratty sofa and played with a loose string on his shirtsleeve.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you can come over. Ian, why are you being so weird? Did Frank lace your food with drugs again?” Debbie demands, already looking around the Gallagher’s living room for a sign of the notorious drunk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Ian scoffs at the ridiculous claim. “I’m not being weird. Maybe I just wanna see a movie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bullshit! Why would you wanna watch a kid’s movie? A Disney Princess movie no less? You’re shit at lying, so what are you hiding?” Debbie asks mischievously. She may be an adult now, but she still enjoys nosing around in her sibling’s business and finding out the dirty details of secrets just like she did as a kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I-... I maybe promised to let my new neighbor borrow it for his daughter.” Ian blushes even saying the words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Debbie raises her eyebrows and plops onto the old couch in the Gallagher’s living room. “You promised to let your neighbor borrow it for his daughter? Can’t he get his own copy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on, Debs. I told him I had a copy for them to borrow and that’ll give me two excuses to see him again. God, he’s so hot. I mean, he was fully clothed and wearing a button down, for work I’m assuming, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jesus</span>
  </em>
  <span>- his face! Those eyes!” Ian rambles through the compliments, not knowing how thin his walls are and that Mickey was on the other side listening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, that certainly wasn’t what Mickey was expecting to hear. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, he was only trying to take the trash out to the dumpster, not knowing he’d overhear Ian call him hot. Mickey’s cheeks felt warm and even without being able to see himself he knew he was blushing. For a split second, Mickey considers putting down the trash bag and knocking on the door, letting Ian know that he heard that and that the attraction wasn’t one sided. Mickey shakes his head as if to knock the idea out of his brain. He can’t do that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Debbie gasps dramatically in Ian’s ear as the Gallagher siblings remain oblivious to Mickey outside Ian’s door. “Using a child to get a man? That’s Fiona level slutty!” She teases, remembering the days Fiona used to hook up with the occasional single father that would drop their kids off at Debbie’s daycare. “Come get the movie so you can get that dick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Heyyyy.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ian whines like a child, “I’m not a slut, take that back, bitch. And you bet your ass I’m coming to get that movie. Is Franny up?” He asks as he stands and slides his jacket on before moving to the door. He wasn’t doing anything else tonight and it was still early so he could swing by to pick it up and see his niece before coming back home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Debbie laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she’s still awake. Should I tell her you’re coming by or do you want to surprise her?” Debbie asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey scurries back, hearing Ian approach the door. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck!</span>
  </em>
  <span> He thinks, knowing he won’t be able to get far enough away to duck out of Ian’s sight when he comes out his apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll surprise her. Did you guys eat yet? I can pick something up on my way over.” Ian offers as he opens the door and walks out of his apartment with his slides on. He turns left to walk towards the antique elevator, and he sees Mickey’s door open and the man’s back as he appears to be rushing through the doorway. He let his eyes roam over Mickey’s back in a white wife beater and his perky ass in a pair of light grey sweatpants, and he has to bite his lip and remind himself he’s on the phone with his baby sister. He didn’t stop Mickey who was clearly in a rush, watching the door slam shut behind him and sighing a little as he continued his walk down the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Franny ate while I was at work. Had to work overtime today, which sucks ass but I’m not gonna turn down free food. Could you grab tacos? It’s been forever since we’ve gotten to actually talk and spend time together!” Debbie says, her voice getting a bit whiny, reminding Ian of Franny. It really hadn’t been that long, just a few weeks, since Ian moved into his new apartment. Debbie just misses having her brother to regularly shoot the shit with. They’re the only queer siblings and they’ve bonded more since Debbie came out as bisexual, making this move hard on Debbie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey slumped against the door once it was firmly shut behind him. His head was swirling. What the fuck is going on? Mickey’s only ever had a couple drunken hookups with twinks in back alleys and bathrooms of gay bars and now he can’t tear his mind away from his hot neighbor who apparently thinks Mickey’s hot too. What the hell is he supposed to do? Should he call Mandy?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, read me bedtime story?” Stasia’s sleepy voice snaps him out of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Magic word, Stas. We've been over this, you gotta use manners or you don’t get candy with snacks.” He says automatically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Peaaaaaaase!” Stasia drags the mispronounced word out while she flashes him puppy dog eyes. Damn, he’s been letting Mandy teach her too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah ok, but only one story. I’m serious!” Mickey says, knowing he’ll cave the second she brings out the puppy dog eyes again. Sure enough, Mickey reads her three different stories before he puts his foot down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, I love you, Stasia.” Mickey says, kissing her forehead. He only feels comfortable being so soft, open and vulnerable in the protection of his home, even when it's his daughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stasia’s struggling to keep her eyes open as she says “I love you too, Daddy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey turns off the light, turning on the obnoxiously big, multicolored night light Mandy convinced him to buy. Quietly, Mickey leaves her room and goes back out to the living room, shooting Mandy a text.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yo, can you talk?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ian exits the elevator in the lobby of their building as he hangs up with his sister, promising to bring two steak tacos for her. He places the order on his phone for the little Mexican restaurant near the Gallagher house that was a part of the second wave of gentrification. The one perk of it was better food. He takes the L two stops over to his old neighborhood and then exits the train to pick up his food and go see Debs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Debbie’s waiting for Ian when he gets to the house. The bags under her eyes are darker than they were the last time the siblings saw each other in person, but her face lights up with a bright smile when she sees him. “There he is!” She exclaims excitedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be nice if you were talking about me, but I know that excitement can only be for these.” He teases as he holds up the bag of take out in his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Debbie laughs and plays along. “Maybe.” She lasts maybe five seconds with a straight face before bursting into snickers. “Ok, come on in and tell me about the mystery hottie!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ian chuckles and gives her a hug as he walks by her into the house and heads right for the kitchen table, where they always seemed to share their secrets with one another. He opens the bag and pulls out food for both of them before grabbing two of her beers from the fridge and finally settling down. “His name is Mickey.” Ian rubs at the back of his neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Debbie starts digging into her taco. “Mickey like Mickey Mouse?” She says with a mischievous smirk. Oh there’s no way she’s not gonna tease him about that. “Ok so Mickey Mouse has a daughter, is your neighbor, and is hot. How hot? Like on a scale from Donald Trump to Leo Dicaprio?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ew, why is Trump even on that scale. He’s attractive to exactly zero people on this Earth.” Ian says as he opens up his tacos and picks up the first. “He’s hotter than Dicaprio at all ages, including teen Leo. He even tops Timblerlake in my opinion. And that means a lot coming from me.” Ian gives her a look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trump’s on the list so you know it can only go up from there, duh.” Debbie says as she thinks over his answer. “Huh… So what’s your plan? Go over to give him the movie and surprise him with a strip tease?” She teases for a second before saying, “No really, what’s your plan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ian chokes on a piece of tomato when she mentions a strip tease, but she barrels on. “Ummm… well, I’ll give the movie to him and then let him know that he can knock on my door and return it any time he wants to. Good?” He asks his little schemer of a sister.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Debbie takes a big bite of her taco and considers what Ian said as she chews. “Wear a crop top when you do it. If he’s into men, he’ll probably react to your abs on display and you’ll know if you got a shot.” Debbie suggests.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey’s leg bounces a mile an hour as he waits for Mandy to call him. If there’s anyone that gets just how fucked up Mickey is, it’s her, so he knows it’s safe to turn to her for help. His phone starts ringing and he snatches it up from his thigh like it will start running.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mandy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah Mick, it’s me.” Mandy’s voice flows through the phone. “The fuck is going on? Are you ok? Do I need to bring a shovel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no shovel needed. I, uh, fuck.” He sighs deeply. How the hell is he supposed to say this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You what, Mick? Spit it out. I got shampoo in my eye because I rushed my shower to call you, so this better be good.” She grumbles in annoyance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fuckin’ hard for me to talk about it, Mandy! Give me a fucking second!” He snaps. Mickey takes a deep breath and drags his hand over his face. “I need guy advice.” He whispers into the phone. Even after everything, there’s a part of him that feels disgusted with himself for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“GUY ADVICE!!” She screeches into her end of the phone, jumping up from her sofa and then hopping onto it and bouncing up and down on the couch cushions. “I knew you’d ask me someday. Shit, wait who is he? Where did you meet him? What’s his name?” She rattles through the most important questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A startle-laugh escapes Mickey’s throat. He knew Mandy would be supportive but there was a part of him that was still surprised after all this time that she kept supporting him. “His name is Ian, he’s my neighbor. Just moved into the apartment across from mine. He’s so fuckin’ gorgeous, Mandy. A fuckin’ tall, musclar, redhead with all these fuckin’ freckles. And Stasia! Holyshit, Mandy, he was nice to Stasia. I thought guys would be turned off by me having a kid. She got all clammy when she saw him and he tried to cheer her up and is bringing a goddamn Disney movie called Anastasia to our place! Like what the fuck?! And here’s the fuckin’ kicker, I heard him tell his sister he thinks I’m hot!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey hadn’t realized just how much he was holding in until it was spewing out of him. He wanted to talk more about Ian’s big hands and muscular arms hidden behind a uniform. He wanted to speculate Ian’s job and what he was like. Fuck, what’s wrong with him. “What the fuck am I supposed to do, Mandy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well talk to him, moron.” Mandy shakes her head as she falls back down onto the sofa. “You gotta get his attention and see if he likes you. No straight guy would stop and talk to Stass without stopping checking you out first, no offense.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to say! I actually ran away from him earlier because I don’t have a fucking clue what to say! And how do I even get his attention? Only way I’ve gotten a guy’s attention before is by kicking his ass.” Mickey says, trying to use humor to deflect from how vulnerable he feels right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy snickers, “Well, it depends on what you want I guess… You looking for a fuck, a fuck-buddy, or more than that…?” She asks the last one with baited-breath. She knew Mickey had never been comfortable experimenting with men. Hell, she’s spent the last few years having to teach him that he’s not disgusting for being gay. She knows how hard this is for her brother better than anyone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey gnaws on his bottom lip. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>do </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>I want? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Am I a fucking idiot if I say I don’t know yet?” He flinches at how shaky and quiet his voice came out. He didn’t want to seem weak, even if it’s only Mandy there to witness him. A part of him expected harsh barbs and maybe even a fist to come flying at him for his second of weakness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck no! I’ve been there before, dumbass.” She shocks him by replying with a laugh. “Whenever I meet a guy in a bar, I gotta decide on the spot, it’s fucking annoying as hell.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey laughs airily even though it’s not funny. He’s mostly relieved to just hear that he’s not being dumb. “I just… I wanna be around him. Does that make any sense? Like, He had such a pretty smile when he smiled at Stasia today. I wanna see him smile again and find out more about him, y’know? Fuck I feel so stupid!” Mickey slams his head into the palm of his hand. “Fuck!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not stupid, Mick. It’s cheesy as all hell, but you have a crush on him. So, you gotta make sure you see him again a few times and feel out if there’s anything there. Maybe invite him out for a drink just to get to know him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey rubs the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I can do that. Thanks, Mandy. I’ll let you go back to your shower now. Sorry.” He mumbles sheepishly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I love you fuckhead.” Mandy’s gentle, earnest voice breathes into his ear. “I know talking to me is hard for you and shit. I want… I don’t want any bullshit to stop you from bein’ happy, y’know? I’m really fucking proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy hangs up before Mickey can stop sputtering and deflect from his sister’s honesty. For several quiet minutes Mickey stares at his cell before dropping it onto the couch and dragging his rough, calloused hand down his face. He knows he’s acting ridiculous and tries to believe Mandy’s words. Ian’s just a guy, not some monster. Mickey can talk to him, invite him out for a drink. Mickey can do that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ian gives himself a day to gather the confidence to knock on Mickey’s door. It feels weird to be this nervous, since he is usually so forward and direct with what he wants, but this felt different to him. This feels like he’s just done a favor for his cute neighbor’s daughter and he ought to keep it PG for the time being. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raises his fist and knocks at the door, biting his lip and fidgeting with the DVD cover in his other hand. The thud of running feet can easily be heard up until the door swings open. Mickey was dressed in clothes a bit nicer than he’d normally wear just hanging out around his apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If there was any doubt he’d been waiting for Ian, his left hand jutting forward, an unopened can of beer clasped in his fist, ended that. “You wanna beer?” Mickey blurts out before Ian can even open his mouth. It takes a second for Mickey to think about how this must look. He’s dressed up, obviously waiting for a man he’s barely spoken to and eager to invite him in. Mickey flushes bright red, the blush looking even brighter in contrast to his pale skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, hi?” Ian barely glances down to look at the beer before his eyes are back on Mickey’s beautiful face. “Um, I-... yeah, sure why not?” He smiles softly not wanting to be rude and decline his offer. He slowly reaches out and takes the can from Mickey’s hand, purposely brushing his fingers against Mickey’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey lets Ian take the can and hesitantly twitches his fingers so they stay brushing against Ian’s longer, his face getting impossibly redder. Mickey licks his lips nervously and awkwardly gestures into his apartment. “C’mon in. I-uh, I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for bringing the movie, Stasia’s real excited. Maybe you could, uh, watch it with us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey had spent all day not just waiting for his handsome neighbor, but hyping himself up to even talk to him. Mickey knows he isn’t what you’d call a smooth talker but Mandy’s embarrassing, earnest words had nagged at him until he decided he’d try. It was okay for him to have a crush, he knows Mandy was right about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beers and a movie. Is he asking Ian on a date? Kind of. It’s date-ish. Mickey guesses that’s what he wants, he just wants to keep staring at Ian Gallagher’s beautiful face and see if the guy’s as good as he is good looking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t want to impose on your family time.” Ian stands firmly in the doorway, not taking a step inside, but peeking in around Mickey. Truthfully, he’s intrigued by the offer. He wants to get to know Mickey, but did he really want to do that with the guy’s toddler sitting on the sofa between them? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not. But, uh, if you’d rather maybe we could… we could get beers this weekend?” Mickey suggests, his voice hitching. His fear gets the better of him and before Ian can even react he starts to babble. “There’s a bar not too far from here. It ain’t fancy or nothing, but unlike the other fuckin’ places around here it’s actually fucking affordable. It’s cool if you don’t want to or whatever, I just thought maybe we could get to know each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that. It’s a date.” Ian backs up a little, taking his beer with him and chuckling as he looks down at it, and then glancing back at the bumbling man in front of him. “Enjoy the movie.” He gave Mickey a crooked smile, getting a sheepish smile in return. Ian finds Mickey’s obvious nerves endearing, and he couldn’t help but find it cute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, we will.” Mickey said. As he watched Ian leave, he couldn’t help but notice a warm feeling in his chest and the words “it’s a date” ringing in his ears. He caught Ian looking back over to him as he fumbled his keys trying to get into his apartment and the warmth in his chest spread. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy! Movie!” Stasia yelled, pulling Mickey out of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m comin’!” He yelled back. He went back to his over excited daughter, who was practically vibrating with excitement and anticipation. A soft smile formed on his face - he couldn’t wait to see Ian again. </span>
</p>
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